If I took a shot every time Ashley said "Bentley" or "closure" tonight, I would have died from alcohol poisoning. The night began with a very emotional encounter with none other than Bentley himself. Ashley called him out on exactly what I was thinking - Bentley wanted a free vacation to Hong Kong. They have a long senseless conversation about punctuation (ellipses, periods, question marks, etc.) and Ashley leaves with "closure." Or so she says.
On her first one-on-one date of the evening, she goes out with Luke who we learn refers to himself as "Big Tex." Ashley and Big Tex head on down to the Hong Kong market. Why does this look familiar to me? Oh yea. We did this last week in Thailand. I don't know about anyone else, but I had about enough of Big Tex last week when he and Ashley engaged in a weird cliche golf lesson. What I learned from this date: cowboys do not good pirates make. Send him home, Ash.
On the group date, the boys had to find teams to participate in dragon racing. I believe it was Ben F. who made the comment that charm apparently doesn't translate into different languages. Apparently cute doesn't translate either because I would have been all over that. At the cocktail party following the manly race, the guys decide to act like a bunch of girls. They spend a lot of time discussing how "different" they are from Ryan. I take this to mean that they are mean, bitter, unhappy men, who don't look quite as cute as Ryan does when he's all scruffy.
When they find a moment to escape, Ashley and Ames engage in a teenage-esque makeout session in the elevator. While en route to the top of the building, some other individual has the audacity to try to use the elevator! Although we experienced this awkward difficulty, the makeout session was, albeit stiff, somewhat passionate. I usually take the stairs up to my office. I'm taking the elevator from now on.
The best thing about Ashley's one-on-one with J.P. was her bracelet on her right wrist, which I subsequently noticed she also wore to the rose ceremony. They didn't do anything but have dinner and discuss Ashley's feelings - about Bentley! Are you kidding me? You spent the last date with J.P. crying about Bentley because he just left you with the ellipses and now you're ruining your second date with the same damn thing! You wanted this second date so you could make up for the crappy first date. Do you remember when you fell asleep in front of the fire, looking like sh*t, crying about a jerk into the arms of another man who is 100 times cuter?! I remember that.
At the final cocktail party of the evening, Ashley opens up to the guys about Bentley and her alleged closure. The guys don't take the news too well. But what they do take well, is her apparent boob job. If you notice, when she walks into the room, Ryan's eyes about popped out of his head. I was shocked the producers didn't have to phone another ambulance.
Mickey takes the Bentley news as his opportunity to walk away from Ashley without looking like an ass. Slick move, little Mickey. Then Ashley sends Blake home. I'm not heart broken. We all saw this coming. When you are so insecure you need to be reassured by Miss Insecurity herself, you have problems.
The most exciting moments of the night:
1. Discovering J.P.'s real name is Jordan Paul;
2. Rewinding the DVR about 10 times trying to figure out who makes Ashley cry at the final rose; and
3. Most importantly, trying to figure out who Ashley is wearing (her dress that is) at the final rose ceremony.
I missed the episode so im glad i could read this. Im surprised more guys didnt walk off when she told them about Bently, cause that was the perfect chance to get off the Titanic before it sinks into the freezing cold waters of insecurity and hopelessness. I havent seen this episode, but im 100% sure she's still thinks Bently is gonna come through, Bently could smack her in the face and steal all her tiny little clothes and she'd still look into the whole thing as a misunderstanding.
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