Dear Brad,

We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.  West (the murderer) has been eliminated from the Bachelorette.  I still can't figure out how ABC didn't know about this before putting him on national television.  But alas, ABC does not have me on their side, putting them squarely in the stupid camp.  But then again, West did pull off a murder without the police finding out…

Our first one-on-one date of the evening is ruined by the rain.  Poor Constantine and Ashley.  Stuck having a regular date like regular people:  sipping beer and asking old men for dating advice.  I was surprised by how much I liked him.  Maybe it was because he looks like a giant next to Ashley…or maybe it's because he made Ashley look like a hobbit, I can't decide which.

The group date was a fabulous charitable project "planned by Ashley" which every guy felt compelled to point out.  News flash boys, Ashley didn't just show up in Thailand and decide to crash an orphanage with paint and glitter.  Have you noticed all those guys running around behind the cameras filming your every move?  Ever stop to think that maybe they had anything to do with it? ………nah…….can't be.  I can't help but also point out Ryan's enthusiasm at the prospect of helping underprivileged youth.  I admit, I had to rewind it to see his excitement behind all the other men sporting faces of disappointment.

Despite his less than stellar physical appearance, Ames was charming every girl in America last night.  The more he spoke sweet nothings to Ashley, the smaller the space between his eyes became.  This is nothing short of amazing.  The only complaint I have is that I had to turn on the closed captioning in order to catch every word he was saying.  What's that Ames?  I can't understand that you have been to more than 70 counties because you are mumbling like a 90 year old man.  I know, I know.  Must I point out the flaws?  Yes, I must.  But honestly, he seems like a great guy, and perhaps a little too intelligent for darling, naïve, insecure Ashley.

Ashley spent much of the night talking about her "dark place" with Bentley.  She even once asked the camera if she should open up to Constantine about how much she cared about Bentley and how hurt she is; maybe get his advice on how to get Bentley back (OK, I made that part up.)  Seriously Ashley? Oh yes, she's serious.  In fact, she mentions this to the other guys several times throughout the night. 

Dear Brad Womack,  Can you please provide me with the name and phone number of your therapist at your earliest convenience?  Sincerely, Ashley.